Giving It More of What You Got

I received a call from the Church of Scientology on Tuesday, May 3rd , and basically, they were following up with me about some assignments that I am still in the process of completing. I told them that I haven't completed them yet. And I told them the reason why I haven't completed them yet, and it is basically because I told them that my job takes up a lot of my energy, and when I am finished with my job for the day, I don't want to do anything else much but just relax. I then asked them, "What can I do about this? What would be a viable solution to work on this, and to get my assignments handled?" Well, the person that I was communicating with told me to just complete them, and to get them completed at a faster pace than the pace that I would normally take to complete them. When she said that, I realized how I have slowed down a lot in relation to getting my assignments done, so slow in-fact, that they've been a few months at a stand-still.

Now with these assignments, there is no specific deadline, but it is recommended that one lesson is completed every week. One thing about these assignments is that they help you in helping yourself become a better person. One thing that I am working on now is called Self-Analysis that basically breaks down the concepts of life and energy in a way that is workable to help you improve different aspects of your own life. There are also questions that help you confront certain aspects of yourself to help you release some of the negative energy that's been subconsciously culminating over the years in order to free yourself from some of those negative points as a way of helping you become more effective at being able to handle heavier situations.

But the point here is the way that I interact with everything and handle situations is a reflection of my character. If I am not effective at being able to handle situations, my mind will handle them for me, and the way that my mind usually handles it for me is through fear, resistance, and "negative" emotions. And usually, those things that are there to support us is where we have the most resistance. And I asked the person on the phone, "Why is this?" And she said that it's basically how we developed ourselves over-time subconsciously through our interaction in the world, and how we picked up on things. If something affects us negatively, our mind is going to create a protection around it, and try to resist it every time a similar experience comes up. And there is just so much stuff that have unconsciously impacted us that we are not aware of in our lives, and we have to be the ones that train ourselves to confront them, and basically that means confronting our fears, habits, and resistances.

So although, being tired after work is a pretty good reason to take the rest of the day off, but I have to make a decision. If I want to remain in, pretty much, the same mind-set, expectations, and standpoint when it comes to how I see life, and how I interact and react to things with not a lot of progression of character, self-reflection, and self-improvement, then I can keep letting my 'tiredness' be an excuse to remain in, pretty much, the same condition when it comes to how I see myself, and how I look at life. Or if I want to progress and make some contribution to myself, my conditions, and get what I want out of life, then I'm going to have to do something different which requires some form of action. Now I'm not saying that if a person works all of the time, and then goes home and relaxes everyday after work that they do not make any progress when it comes to self-improvement, progression of character, and getting what they want out of life. There's always some lesson to be learned everyday, and some opportunity or room for self-improvement that can be attained. All that I'm saying is that, for me, I don't want my 'tiredness' to be an excuse to remain stagnant. I want to move. I want to grow. I want to progress, and the degree of growth that I find if I allow my 'tiredness' to dictate my actions is not enough for me.

So, for me, what I was reminded of when communicating to this lady is to 'go faster' which means 'give it more of what you got'. In my moments when I am biased in relation to just wanting to relax or wanting to contribute to something that will help me grow and become a better person, a lot of times, I choose the former because it's easier to do. But I would like to see how far I can go, how much I can get done, and how much more results that I can generate if I do the latter.

Is My 'No' an Authentic 'No' ?

I went to the Church of Scientology on my birthday, and every time I go there, I always learn something. Scientology has so much depth to it, and the people that work for Scientology always seem to give full attention to you, and provide a means of helping you help yourself.

On April 18th, I learned about the words 'inflow' and 'outflow'. 'Outflow' is when a person is talking to someone else, therefore, communicating to that person. 'Inflow' is the person on the receiving-end, therefore, from this perspective, a 'conversation' would be the process of alternating out-flowing and in-flowing.

But this can be applied in other ways. I went up there because I was chosen to be on staff. My answer was 'no'. But see, here is the lovely part about what I like about Scientology.

Saying the word 'no', sometimes, we are not able to see what it is prompting us to say 'no', and what I learned is that sometimes, with saying 'no', we might be cutting ourselves off from a 'blessing' / 'opportunity' / 'potential'.

Therefore, I wrote down random unfinished cycles (activities and responsibilities) in my own life that are, in theory, keeping me from being on staff, and one of those things is money. So I didn't stop there. I, then, wrote a plan on what I'm going to do, or need to do to in order to amass the money I need in order to join staff, and provide a potential date of the time of when I will be able to have the sufficient amount of money.

I then wrote down all of my unfinished courses that I have yet to complete at the Church of Scientology, and provided a potential date of when each of those courses will be finished. The point here is that, sometimes, the reason that we say 'no' is because we have not given ourselves enough out-flow, which means that we have not put ourselves out there enough to be able to receive any more in-flow / blessings / results because of being stuck in a state of idleness.

Therefore, saying 'no' can be a result of existing in a state of idleness' for a long period of time.

To me, it's not about whether I will become a staff member of the Church of Scientology or not, but it is about making sure, for myself, that my 'no' is an authentic 'no', and not a result of having positioned myself in a state of idleness.